My faith-walk, part two

In my last blog I shared a little bit of my struggle in this faith-walk into which God has called me.  Sometimes Sharon and I look at ourselves and say: “Wow! We live….here!”  We do stand in amazement of our surroundings, and the fact that we get to serve God and His people here in Helena.  Sometimes we look at ourselves and say: “Wow!  We live….here?” See what a difference it makes when you exchange the exclamation mark with a questioning mark.  Go ahead, say it out loud.  It works!

Indeed, sometimes I look at our smallish community, the bleakness and harshness of our surroundings, and compare all this to my Latin American-Mega City background and, really wonder what someone like me can do here.  But as I look back on my life, it seems that it is always through my many weaknesses that God has come through in the lives of those around me.  That is my prayer for this phase of our life in Helena. 

What encouraged me to continue writing on this thread of my faith-walk is a letter recently sent by my friend Peggy Reynoso where she shares some of her thoughts on the matter.  I asked her if I could share these with you.  Here we go:

“This brings me around again to the question of ‘How do I know I am in God’s will?’ When do my decisions dovetail with God’s desires? I like Dallas Willard’s example of the little boy in the kitchen.  When the son is making himself a peanut butter sandwich, he is not out of his father’s will.  His dad may not have told him to make a peanut butter sandwich, but he didn’t tell him not to do it, either.  This small act of satisfying his hunger is within the understood boundaries of the freedoms acceptable for the boy.  He knows his dad is okay with it.  He knows he’s allowed to make some decisions – and take some initiative – for himself.

What’s amazing to me is that Jesus is not just the initiator of our faith, but that as he develops the story of our lives, he is using even the mundane details to mature our faith.  I learn even while I’m making the peanut butter sandwich. ……. Isn’t my Father so great that He gives me choices, and variety, and a well-stocked kitchen and a beautiful back yard to enjoy wile I eat? Finding God in the details of our lives increases our appreciation of his work in us.”

I hope these thoughts (which really include two authors) are encouraging to you. They give me a measure of peace that I am walking within God’s acceptable will for my life, and all is good, here in Helena.

Blessings,

Faith

As I make my way through life as a Christ follower, there seem to be two words that don’t go together well in any language. These words are ‘no’ and ‘LORD’.  Jonah is a perfect example of what happens to one who takes this approach to God’s command.   We can also see this indictment in Jesus’ words to His disciples in Lk 6:46. It is enough to watch a movie or television show where interactions are seen between a king or queen, or a president and their ministers.  Have you noticed?  Every interaction is followed by a “Yes, your majesty” or “Yes, Mr. President”.  If and when the minister (or whoever it is) disagrees or wishes to make a point to the contrary it is still “Yes, your majesty, but has your majesty considered so and so….” There is never a ‘no’.  How much more should we take care of our response to the LORD of the universe?  Not only does He promise correction (at best) to those who disobey, but He also promises blessings to those who do obey and follow His will for their lives (Jn. 14:21).

I have been trying to explain why it is that we moved to Montana at this particular point in our lives.  It seemed very unpractical.  No job.  No calling – humanly speaking.  Kids are in a “good place” in their surroundings.  The whole thing has been a venture of faith since day 1.   More than anyone I might have had the right to wrestle with God and say something like “Yes, Lord, but can you wait until Caleb graduates from high school?  I mean, it is only one more year.”  We would have loved to seen him graduate with his class. But, if I get to that point then….why then, Autumn graduates in 2 more years after that!  It certainly would not be fair to her if I make that concession on Caleb’s behalf and not hers.  Well, then, after that, Jake graduates in 2 more years.  What would that do to him?  And then Sammy will graduate in two more years, and so on, and so forth.  I could find all sorts of technical arguments to present before God as to why His timing was all wrong.   And delay my obedience indefinitely.  And for a while, I did struggle.  Why was it not easier?  Why did I have to yank my kids out of a great place for them?  How can I make a living?  Why is it not easier?  I know, I’ve asked this twice already!

I still don’t know the answers.  I still wake up at strange hours of the night/early morning wondering if this month will be in the black or red ink.    Yet, without regard to my lack of faith and short-sightedness, God Himself continues to provide for us.  Secular work, faithful and sacrificial giving from loving friends and our sending church back in Katy.  A new contract that wasn’t there last month.  A new donor.  It all comes together.  Combine this with Sharon’s magical ability to make all ends meet…..and voilá (I like that word) it all comes together and I feel like a fool for ever doubting.  Then I start again.  Yet, in some strange and special way, God is building my faith.  I’m ever so aware of my inconsistencies and can only cry out, like the father of the little sick girl in Mark 9:24 “I believe, help my unbelief!”

And yet, we walk by faith and not by sight.  Hebrews 11 mentions that many never received the promise while here on earth!  Not only that, they were horribly persecuted.  And THEY are the ones “of whom the world was not worthy.”   In any event, we wait for the perfect, ultimate provision from our Lord Jesus. Blessings!

My Boy

The other day I took my 18 year old son to the airport.  He has just completed his High School education and is getting a well-deserved “vacation” back in Katy, TX, with all his old friends.  As I watched him head off towards the airport gates, all full of enthusiasm, optimism, and that teenage care-free attitude, I had to hold back tears of pride and gratitude for such a boy/man.  You see, Caleb is a special guy.  Of course, I’m required to say that.  But even as a young boy he used to get comments from total strangers about his native intelligence (which he altogether got from his mom), and that “walk-to-a-different-drummer” kind of attitude which has been obvious from the time he could barely walk.  One old Mexican man said “ese trae la musica por dentro” which is another way of saying that he marches to his own tune.  You see, Caleb also holds a bunch of “er’s” on me.  He has grown up to be way smarter, stronger, quicker, bigger, handsomer and a lot of other ers that escape me right now.  He is by far more talented, energetic, enthusiastic, adventurous and charming than I’ll ever be or ever have been.  I wish I had half the energy that he has!  I am really proud of my boy and I sort of envy the future he has wide open in front of him with endless possibilities.  He is at a point where he can chose to live in Montana, Texas or several points in between.  He has been able to live in and visit several countries, and seen a lot of things that have shaped and molded him and his outlook on life.  He has picked up a lot of knowledge and skills over the years which will do him well in many situations.  I wish sometimes I could go back and re-visit some of the choices I’ve made in life and sometimes I wish I could then make the choices for my son, from the vantage point of age and experience….and sort of ease the way for him.  But those decisions are for him to make and live by.  My earnest hope is that he, along with his siblings and friends, as he goes along the path set before him,  will abide by the words set in Proverbs 3:1-12 – so “you will find favor and good success in the sight of God and man.”

Caleb, your mom and dad love you greatly and we are extremely proud of you.  Onwards!

Random Thoughts

Living in a place like Montana can definitely have its advantages.  The other day I was listening to the Daily Crime Report on the radio station in Missoula.  Someone had two hit and runs in a row.  In Idaho!!!  Not even in this state!  I mean….that is not huge, is it? Now, mind you, we have our problems here in the state and in Helena.  Currently there is a big case about a shaken baby who is now forever confined to a wheelchair.  And a pregnant girl that took a metal bat to her boyfriend, who is also now confined to a wheelchair for the rest of HIS life.  There is a huge problem with all sorts of addictions (gambling, smoking, alcohol, etc.) and an issue with depression – highest suicide rate per capita in the US!  But, be that as it may, it is sure a relief not to wake up every morning to our earlier Houston fare of shootings, high speed chases, rapes, arson fires, and all that good stuff.

We’re so lucky to live in one of the most beautiful places in the world.  The snow on the mountains provides a new perspective on their heights and the depths of their canyons and crags.  Deer, elk and bighorn sheep abound everywhere you look.  The wolves still chose to keep to themselves, but they are out there, and the bears are now taking their well-deserved winter nap (oh, to be a bear!).

People here are also beautiful.  Hard, independent, and wise in the ways of nature.  “We” come from an aggressive stock of individuals who came to this harsh land in search of beauty, land, and yes, wealth.  But yet, we as a whole are given to the behaviors and problems listed above.  In the “best last place”. Why?  That is what I’m here to find out and hopefully find a way to reverse, through the gospel.

Last item on the radio>  HOG’s futures!  I don’t need to listen to a report on the radio to know that.  The future for a hog: bacon!   Ha. 

Best.

On to the Big Adventure

The other Steven Curtis Chapman song that really motivates me is “The Big Adventure”.

Saddle up your horses, we have a trail to blaze, to the wild blue yonder and God’s amazing grace! Let’s follow our leader, to the glorious unknown…..this is life like no other, this is, the Big Adventure!

No looking back! Living the Big/Great Adventure. Something to live for and to die for. To be honest, I felt a lot like that…..well, literally I was heading to the great west, to the somewhat unconquered land of Montana where cowboy-like adventure still exist!

I’ve been fortunate to have the opportunity to travel – sometimes because I wanted to and sometimes because I had to. Sometimes travel is not so pleasant, like when you’re stranded in an airport for a day or longer. Or slogging your way through the Arizona dessert in the middle of the summer in a non-air-conditioned VW van, or….you pick your poison. We all have our choice of travel foes. But thanks to my folks, my work, my church, and an adventurous wife, I have been able to travel to a bunch of places and each has been an adventure. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I almost find it easy to leave the comfort of my home, office, or church for the goal of closing a sweet business deal, or taking food to the hungry, or the gospel to the perishing….somewhere else, far away and wild. And, sometimes I feel I’m pretty good at that. But what I’m not good at is getting off the comfort of my couch to go and talk to my neighbor a little more in depth than the casual conversation, or the usual request to use his extension ladder. I might quickly sign up for a trip elsewhere and endure hours in the airport, being frisked by some big lady with rubber gloves, the long hours in tight quarters on an airplane, the assault on the senses of all the new sounds, smells and sights upon arrival. But I’m not so hot at living out in a sacrificial way right around the corner.

I want to live that way. I want to saddle up my spiritual horse and blaze a trail to my new neighbors in Helena. I believe adventure is right around the corner for all of us if we’ll just have it. The sense of adventure can be there everywhere, if we’ll just take that step and go beyond our comfort zone. Let’s try it….I’m all for it.

Best,

For the Sake of the Call

One of my all time favorite songs is “For the Sake of the Call” by Steven Curtis Chapman.  We will abandon it all…..No other reason at all….Wholly devoted to live and to die….The words, the music, I love it all.  I had this song, and another one by this same author (fodder for my next blog) on my mind as Sharon and I got ready to follow the Lord’s calling to Montana.

As I revisit some of my decisions in life, I know that the pursuit of some of my dreams has turned into, well, nightmares.  Figuratively and literally.   But, I’ve come out of them alive and well.  Sometimes I wonder if pursuing my dream of following God has not turned into a bit of a nightmare for those who are along for the ride with me?  After all, the dream of living in a paradise like this (for me) may better be represented by the words “Siberia” or “Gulag” for other members of my family!

But what can one do?  When you hear the word GO…..do you have a choice?  I mean, if my previous employer had offered me the chance to move and improve my career — I would have moved after a modicum of prayer and meditation, unless the NO was too obvious.  I mean, getting transferred to London, or Chicago would’ve been a great opportunity, right?  And tough on anyone else.  More so, if my boss had said “Dan, I really need for you to go to Montana and take care of some clients there.” I would’ve fallen out of my chair!  It would have been so obvious, right?

One member in particular has had a harder time dealing with the move than others, but all have left behind friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, schools, favorite places and activities, et cetera.  Honestly, when I thought of leaving it all, my original thoughts were “it’s not so hard….I mean, we’ll still be living in the US (well, barely)….it’s not so hard.”  But looking back, perhaps I may have been too cavalier in my  evaluation.  Even for myself.  We all left behind:

• A church we loved and which loved us in return
• A youth group that loved and served us and which we were able to love and serve in return
• Ministry
• Closeness to Family
• Dear, deep, significant personal friendships
• Cultural habits and customs

And probably more.  For the sake of the call.  As you might tell, I find myself being bummed out by the impact my choices have had on others.  Even those choices that are “good”.  In the end, I can’t be responsible for others’ reactions or lack of willingness to expand or grow.  I find myself in the middle of a very mobile society.  Military families get moved at the drop of a hat.  Businessmen get transferred without warning.  We move because we can.  We move because there is opportunity elsewhere.  We move because there is adventure, something bigger than ourselves, something to live for and to die for.

On to The Great Adventure.

Best,

Joy in the journey

There is a joy in the journey

There’s a light we can love on the way

There is a wonder and wildness to life

And freedom to those who obey

From Michael Card’s “There is a Joy in the Journey”

These are the opening words to a song I have loved since the first time I heard it.  And let me tell you, I am in the middle of experiencing the wonder and wildness to life right now.  This newest version started back when we began to feel GOD’s pull on our life to Montana.  I hope I’ve been able to show in my last two blogs just how nutty this whole process has been for us.  We received no direct invitation from a human agency to get involved in God’s work with the Southern Baptists here in Montana.  We were going off of some divine inspiration which included the word GO.  Not much else.

As I found myself struggling with this, I received a verse from two different sources, one from my Mom, Carrie (thanks, Mom) and the second from a wonderful little book titled “The Red Sea Rules” by Robert J. Morgan (thanks, Palmer) quoting the story found in Genesis where the faithful old servant Eliezer has been given the difficult task of finding a bride for Isaac.  The mission is sort of simple.  Abraham tells him to go back to his old home and find a girl for his son and bring her back.  In principle, this mission appears to be quite easy.  Just mount up on some camels, go to Mesopotamia and find a girl.  But, what if Isaac doesn’t like my choice?  What if something goes wrong?  What if…. What if…..What if? Yet, Eliezer takes off on his journey, and after meeting the perfect girl, Rebekah, and her family, Eliezer is recounting his adventure and speaks the (to me) magical words: “As for me, being on the way, the LORD led me….” (Gen. 24:27 NKJV).

Wildness and Wonder to life.  In this context, wonder is defined as amazement, something strange and surprising, a feeling of awe.  Wildness and Wonder can bring about a moment of fear, of uncertainty at standing in front of something bigger than one-self.  The moment of taking a step into the unknown can bring about a sense of dread and exhilaration at the same time: the heebie-jeebies.  The” What ifs” in life start popping up: was it just indigestion, will my kids hate me, can I support my family, will I be successful, am I making a huge mistake, can it wait until later?

As I looked at my options, I had one real one going for me: “Get on the way, I’ll lead you.  Trust in Me.”  That was from GOD.  Nobody heard it, it was not written specifically anywhere in the Bible for this particular situation, it is just those things we know about HIM that sound real good from the pulpit, or in a Bible study, or when we think about GOD, yet, when it is actually time to bite the bullet and take that step in obedience, boy oh boy, things get harder.  Don’t they?  I mean, I’m no great brave man.  In fact, I’m pretty fearful most of the time, and I actually had very little going for me at that time.  Unemployed, a big household with big appetites, my recent work experience in insurance did not seem to fit real well with the work opportunities in Montana, yaddah, yaddah, yaddah.

The end of the story is this: as I hopped into that little Honda Civic and started northward on my journey to Helena, my joy increased within me.  Yes, I was nervous, afraid, excited, anticipating, unknowing.  All these resulted in some wild joy at doing the unexpected, the different.  The LORD continued to provide for me and my family with each step of the way.  Even though we were separated by 2,000 miles and I was racking up extra expenses driving all over the country and eating at McDonald’s and feeding gas stations all over the great West, GOD provided for all our needs, and more. 

And even now, as we are all here together, our needs are still being fully met.  Sharon and I are experiencing joy.  Our kids are caught in the somewhat fearful wake of our decisions and we pray that they too will experience joy – not only because of the beauty of nature around us, or the newness of our surroundings, or even because they are involved in something a little crazy and scary, but because that joy is coming from the peace within, knowing that they are in the center of GOD’s will for their lives.  Thank you for your continued prayers on our behalf.  We have a long road ahead of us.

More musings, coming up!

Best, Dan

New to Helena

So, I’m driving towards Helena hanging for dear life on to my faith, and carrying with me, in my little Honda Civic,  the faith and hopes of Sharon (and the family) and the blessings of our sending church, friends and associates.  They are all going on the assurance that I’ve given them wherein GOD told me, yes: GO.  And I’m just barely hanging on to that assurance myself!  It turns out Helena just hapened to be a divine appointment.  How did I ever put myself into this situation?

After several approaches to the MTSBC we were told that we would have to be self-supported missionaries to Montana, and that we could be used anywhere we ended up at, but that we needed to chose a place where I could end up supporting my family.  I had taken up some work as an independent insurance loss control consultant, and the idea started to develop (slowly, as usual) in my head that IF indeed the GOD was leading us in this direction, and IF  we could raise some support from our church in Katy (the ever-loving and loved Kingsland Baptist) and interested friends, we could probably make a run for it with this consultant gig of mine….and it appeared from a merely practical point that Helena would be sort of centralish to 6 of the 7 major cities in Montana.

So, I told my guy at the MTSBC that I’m heading to Helena, I told my loss control guy to give me some work to do in Montana, and off I went.  And as I was going, I was asked to consider joining with the current work being done at Big Sky Fellowship and team up with Pastor Darren and his family and his fellowship, and as soon as I got in to Helena, I knew this was the city for me, and that Darren and Big Sky would be an ideal place to work with and for.  A divine appointment.

Helena is a beautiful town, nestled in between several ranges of mountains containing the Helena National Forest.  Rightly named the ‘Queen City of the Rockies’ Helena is the town that gold built!  Although it is not anywhere close to being the largest city in the state, it is the capital, and it manages to portray a bit of cosmopolitan atmosphere and retain its original feel of an old-time mining town and shepherd/cowboy hang-out. 

Our part of the city is called the North Valley.  Higher in elevation, it is dryer and a bit more desert-like than the city itself – which has lots of trees and verdant areas.  But we are delighted to be near the hills and we have a beautiful view of the city lights every night from our back porch.  So, other than Stillwater, OK (where we both went to college) Helena is now the smallest city we’ve ever lived in, and with the exception of our Autumn (she likes skyscrapers and stuff like that) we are all excited about living the small town life and adjusting very well to the more moderate schedule we enjoy here.

Joys in life?  Next time around.

Best, Dan

Beginnings!

I love to drive, and I particularly love to drive in brand new places.  I don’t necessarily like to be driven, or pushed into anything, either.  I curiously found myself in both positions back in June, when I was driving, for the first time ever, into unchartered courses, both on the map and in my heart, towards Helena, MT….my new home.  Each new turn in the road was a source of excitement, and each new turn in my mind was a venture of faith.  Why am I going to Montana?  Why this trip all the way to just-about-Canada?

It all goes back to a video Sharon and the kids watched during an RA function at our church.  The video was about Montana, and how difficult it has been for churches to get established, and how the Southern Baptist church was looking for labourers to plant churches and further the kingdom of God in this beautiful state.  I have never seen the video….our church can’t find it….even the Baptists here in Montana don’t know of it’s existence!

Nevertheless, 5 years ago both Sharon and I felt the tug in our hearts….”could that be for us?” and ever since then, through the good and hard times in our lives Montana kept coming back into our minds.  Finally I could resist the call no longer and we went about finding out how to sign up as missionaries to “The Last Best Place“.  What is Montana?

Montana is the 41st state in the union; it is the 4th largest in territory, yet it ranks 44th in population.  In fact, our old hometown of Houston, TX alone  has 4 times the population of the whole state!  There is a great brokeness in the people here, yet they rely (generally) on good works and overall goodness to reach heaven.  Close to 90% of the population is un-churched and don’t really have an overall exposure to the true Church at work – in spite of great works being done at great personal sacrifice by many.

So….why chose Montana?  Many who know us and our background in Latin America wondered if this was not a waste of our “latin talents” and potential with hispanics here in the US and south of the border?  Well, we really don’t know, but what we have found is that the things we’ve learned during our 21 years of marriage in Tulsa, Santiago (Chile), and Houston/Katy have equiped us with the wherewithal to deal with many of the issues which have plagued other missionaries who have come to serve in this state in the past.  For many, coming to MT has almost been like going to another country.  For many the separation from family has been too hard.  For many, the initial coolness and lack of friendship from the locals has been too hard.  Some find it hard to adapt to a new culture when they think they’re just moving to another state within the United States!  Sharon and I feel we are particularly equipped to deal with these issues, and on top of that, we just know, from that deep in the gut feeling that this is the place for us.

Why Helena?  Thats fodder for another blog!

Best, Dan

Hello world!

Welcome to WordPress.com. This is your first post. Edit or delete it and start blogging!